"Peeing with the Baby"

Picking your child up from the sitter or daycare can go one of two ways. A mom can receive a good report or a bad report. At times, the bad report doesn’t even need reported when you lay your eyes on your child…they look like they’ve moved to the top of Santa’s naughty list.

I personally have yet to encounter the “bad report” pick up, but I know some of my fellow working mommies have. Some of my favorite stories are from colleagues or friends of mine who have gone before me in many of the paths I am walking or soon to walk and can laugh about the chaos that often characterizes their existence.

However, on more days than not, picking the kids up and seeing their sweet faces brings a flutter to a mommy’s heart. Nobody is able to evoke the smile like mommy can! Oh to hear the words, “She was so good. She had a great day. She is such a delight.” What mother wouldn’t want to hear this?! You listen politely thinking to yourself, “Of course. I’ve scheduled her since she was 3 weeks old, I make sure she gets a proper amount of sleep, AND I make my own baby food.” You get in the car, and begin driving home.  You’re on a high, patting yourself on the back and thanking the Lord your kids aren’t like so and so’s!

You walk into the house, put your things down, and the terror begins - high pitch screaming for no reason. Do they want to be held? Are they hungry? Is their diaper dirty? I tested this one-day. I’d place my daughter down and she’d scream…then I’d pick her up and she’d stop. The first few days she did this, I loved it. She wanted mommy…awwwwwwe. After about a week, my house was a wreck, we were further in debt due to eating out, and I had peed while holding my daughter 5 times.

Inevitably these meltdowns are on the days you thought to yourself the night before, “I’ll do that tomorrow after work.” Children know this. I’m convinced that there are certain activities that children are bound and determined never to let their mothers complete uninterrupted: cleaning, showering, cooking, eating, peeing, and sleeping. Nothing major…right?

What in the world? Why is it that kids will act one way with you and another with others? I work in a middle school…it’s inevitable that it happens, this much I know.

What is the lesson? What is God trying to teach me? I could exhaust a list of qualities that God could strengthen in me via my daughter’s after work meltdowns…but I’ve decided to boil it down to one. Just one lesson I believe God is teaching me through this particular behavior…LAUGH. Of course it happens on the days your “to-do” list only has “make a to-do list” checked off. Laugh, laugh, LAUGH. Easier said than done, yes…believe me, I know. But, If we don’t laugh, we cry…and if we cry, we won’t be able to see clearly when we need to wipe while peeing with the baby!

"Diggy"

Isn’t it amazing how prior to becoming a parent, any sort of baby talk or voice or tone was absolutely ridiculous? And by ridiculous, I mean that you’d never stoop to doing such a thing or talk to your future child in such a manner.  You knew that you wanted your child to be reading by the time they were two and baby talk certainly wasn’t a medium to achieving such a goal.  *insert foot in mouth*

Now that I’m living parenthood, the words and phrases that pour from my well educated self astound me. If I say “Whattaya doin’ silly gal” (pronounced girl without the r) or “Nanners” for bananas or “Is you hungry?” one more time in a high-pitched voice, I’m going to slap myself. Further more, “Is you hungry?” isn’t even correct grammar.  

Another favorite is tickling my daughter while repeating….”diggy, diggy, diggy.” My husband and I actually now use this to irritate one another. If he’s making me mad, I state, “I’m going to diggy you,” and I then proceed to tickle him while saying diggy three times. What’s even more startling is that my daughter won’t really laugh unless I am saying, “diggy, diggy, diggy” and “diggying” my husband makes him laugh just as much as our baby!

In addition to the baby talk are the songs I now sing to my daughter that are highly inappropriate. Some I change the words and others I don’t. Some examples of my playlist include:

1.     “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like mine?” –changed to- “Don’t you wish your baby was as cute as mine?”

2.     “Shake that Booty”

3.     “Baby got Back” - with the words changed of course!

4.     “Rump Shaker”

5.     “Poker Face” – changed to – “Slobber Face”

Don’t get me wrong…I sing lots of appropriate songs as well. I love to sing songs in an opera voice and dance around. Everyday after work, we have a little routine. She sits in the kitchen with me as I wash her bottles, prepare her diaper bag for the next day, and cook dinner. I sing, dance, and sing some more! I adore her laugh and smile so I’ll do just about anything to get it!!

I’ve always enjoyed being goofy, but nothing compares to being goofy for your child. In the last 7 months, my husband and I…who are goofy as it is…have turned into lunatics.  We’ve danced and sung until it hurts. What joy it brings…to both of us and our sweet baby girl!!