"Scare Tactics"

Motherhood is downright scary. Questions constantly creep into the mind and paralyze decisions. What if I don’t breastfeed for the full 6 months? What if I don’t breast feed at all? What if I don’t give my baby organic , hand-blended food? What if my child doesn’t start crawling as soon as my sister’s kid? What if they roll over, pull the blanket on their face, and can’t get it off? What if they fall out of their crib? What if they fall off their bike? What if the car door accidentally swings open and they fall out? What if you accidentally drop them? What if the stroller gets away from you while you’re pushing the cross walk button and a giant truck that decided to take the back road detour is coming by at that exact moment and barrels into the stroller? What if you leave them too long in the jumpy thing and their legs don’t develop properly and they are bow legged? What if a strand of hair gets wrapped around their toe, cutting off the circulation which leads to an inflamed and swollen toe that needs to be amputated? (it can happen people…I just read the “It happened to me” blurb in Parents magazine) 

WHAT IF?????

Gosh! If you were a worrier like me before you had kids, you’re a manic worrier now. I guess everybody is at least a little scared. Many times what makes it so frightening are the books upon books written or websites upon websites dedicated to answering all the “what if” questions one has.  It would be much less terrifying if the “what if” questions I have didn’t have case scenarios and examples; especially the “what if’s” that are so out of this world!! Seriously, does Parents magazine need a “It happened to me” section?

To make matters worse, there is a “googling” epidemic among us. Panic is rampant when you google an illness, symptom, or common complaint. The answers you find put a person with a common cold possibly bald, crippled, or dying within 3 months. 

We have created our own episodes of Scare Tactics. Have you ever seen that show on the Syfy channel? I now live with an imaginary Tracy Morgan in my brain that comments on the “what if’s” that play out in my mind. (here is a link in case you're unaware: Scare Tactics) In the end, the truth is that I was set up and I really had nothing to be worried about to begin with.

Oh the scariness that is motherhood. Motherhood is a laden with worry because our kids depend on us to know what to do and when to do it and how to do it and if we should do it and…..*deep breath.* Motherhood is scary because we love our little ones so much that we worry we won’t do what we need to do when we need to do it! In the end, the truth is that God is in control and He has set us up to be able to have nothing to be worried about to begin with! This is not to say I won’t ever worry, however, there is no need for Tracy Morgan to be living in my head!! 

Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message) Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. 

"Say What?"

Choosing your baby’s name is one of the best parts of finding out you’re pregnant. When we found out we were pregnant, we celebrated with dinner at good ole Panera and a trip to Borders to read baby name books. I find it funny when you talk to some couples that are newly pregnant (with their 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd…whatever) and they want to pretend like they haven’t talked about names yet…you’re lying. Yes you have. My husband and me weren’t even sure we’d have kids and we still talked about what to name children. Perhaps they want to keep the name a secret. I digress. 

We hunted name book after name book. We had long discussions about the meaning behind the name, how it sounded with Jackson, and trends to avoid. Some names we threw out immediately, while others we tossed around for a bit. After all, it’s not like you’re choosing a pair of shoes that your child can change when they learn to tie their laces. This is the first impression for all who come in contact with your child for the rest of their life.

After weeks of discussion, we settled on a name for a boy and a name for a girl. Of course my prayers were answered and we had a girl (see “My Little Ballerina blog post). Selah Marie Jackson….pronounced Say-la. It’s a Hebrew musical term and can be found in the book of Psalms after choir hymns. Although the exact meaning is unknown, some suspect it means “lift your voices in praise.” It’s like the sermon equivalent to “Amen.”

Although the name we chose is beautiful, our daughter will lead a life of answering the questions, “Say what? How do you spell that? Is that a family name?” In fact, her first string of sentences together may just be, “It’s pronounced Say-la, not See-la.” Personally, I don’t get it. It’s spelled S.E.L.A.H. and pronounced Say-la. Come on people!!!!

On one of her first visits to our church, a lady approached to see her. When she asked me her name and I told her, she replied, “That’s my cat’s name!” Thanks lady.

We’ve doomed her for life. She will be the student in the classroom on the first day of middle school whose teacher mispronounces her name. My poor baby. I remember once a teacher thought the ‘y’ in my name was an ‘e’ and asked for Joe Graham. I about died. Looking back I realize how ridiculous it is to feel insecure about such a thing, but in middle school, no feeling is ridiculous….and nobody understands what you are going through.

Her pediatrician’s office spells it phonetically on her chart. Why don’t more places do this? It could eliminate a lifetime of hurt.

Oh my. She will never own a keychain or mini license plate from a rest stop. She’ll more than likely have her name mispronounced at her kindergarten graduation, her elementary graduation, her middle school graduation, her high school graduation, her college graduation, her master’s graduation, and her doctorate graduation. Oh well. At least we didn’t name her after a piece of fruit or something.